You Do Not Complete Me

I don't think there are any words strung together in the English language that irk me more than, "he completes me."  It's a phrase often muttered by a girl about a guy (or however that particular relationship works), said to reference how that other person fills them, makes them feel more whole, or gives them a deeper purpose for living... and it often finds its roots in deep-seeded insecurity. Insecurity in oneself as an individual being, a singular person with likes and dislikes, passions and gifts, and unique things to offer to the world. Because that is what any one person is: unique.

You are a living, breathing, and whole person all on your own, and no significant other will ever complete you.  Not to rain on anyone's parade or anything, but this whole "another person will complete me, or without them I am incomplete" mentality is a dangerous place to live. Relying that heavily on another person is not only silly, but unfair.  See, people were not made to complete other people, and placing that kind of expectation on another human being will undoubtedly lead to frustration and disappointment, because another will never meet your need for wholeness.

We were made as whole individuals, which we would know deep in our bones if we only tapped fully into who we are. The things you love to do and the things that fire you up? Pursue those things. Expand on your passions and talents, seek opportunities to live them out, and begin to believe that you really are complete all by yourself.

And remember, when two whole people come together, something magical happens. They are able to fully love not because they need one another to bring about some sort of made-up "completeness," but because they know who they are and don't need another person to fill them. They can love fully because they know that they are fully loved. It's a beautiful thing, friends.

Love yourself. Respect yourself. Live as a complete human being. We're all in this together.


October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. To learn more, click here.

Meet the Writer: Gennean
Gennean is self-proclaimed "hot mess" who loves a good cup of coffee & a good adventure. Born & raised in California, it was shortly after moving to Nashville that she became friends with Unveiled founder Ainsley Britain. Gennean has been blogging for over five years on life & faith, and is honored to be a contributing writer on the Unveiled blog.
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