Your Story III...

This is a real story submitted by one of you, and it really gets me. I've been guilty of saying comments like this to my friends who are naturally thin and here's a look out of their lens.. 


For some reason over the years my confidence in my appearance has gone down drastically. I was a happy child who just wanted to play with my friends until around the 7th grade. I don't really know when I started to look at my body in the mirror but I know that it was before the 7th grade because I have a vivid memory that really triggered my thought process. I'm tall and thin, I always have been no matter what I really eat. I just don't gain weight like my friends do. At times I'm grateful but mostly I feel it as a curse. In 7th grade my gym teacher called my mom asking if I ate regularly because I was so skinny. I think that was the day I started hating that word. Why is it wrong to call a girl fat but somehow calling a girl skinny and saying you can see her bones isn't wrong. I remember my mom explaining that I ate a healthy amount of food with balance, she thought it was a kind gesture that she had reached out but I was embarrassed. From then on I would notice my friends saying how skinny I was and that they could wrap their hand around my wrist or pick me up and how incredible it must feel. I started feeling guilty that I didn't like the way I looked because it seemed it was the body type everyone wanted besides me. All I wanted was to be normal and to not be able to see my bones. My freshman year school I was at the mall with a few friends and we went to a store, they asked why I wasn't trying on any of the jeans because I had said earlier I needed some. I told her because they didn't come in my size , they were all to big for me. She laughed and said god I wish that was my problem as if it was the best thing in the world. All I wanted was to fit in. I tried so hard to be like everyone else but whenever I thought I was close someone would make a comment about my weight. It made me more aware of it and I hated my body more. I told my friends once that I didn't like the way I looked and they got mad at me and thought I was totally selfish because I was naturally skinny. I remember going home and crying because I couldn't even talk to my friends because they thought my problems weren't valid. I still struggle with my self esteem because even though I'm in college its hard to find the people I can be open about it with. Everyone has self-esteem issues and most people don't realize that what you see as ideal others don't want that particular body.